From your 21st birthday onwards, you’re officially independent and can finally call yourself a real adult. To celebrate this milestone, many young people today organize a “21-dinner.” The origin of the 21-dinner is unknown, but it’s suspected that the tradition began in the Middle Ages, as men were knighted on their 21st birthday.

What is a 21-dinner?

A 21-dinner is a festive evening where you invite your friends for a special dinner. The goal is to celebrate your birthday and share memories together. Besides your friends, your family also plays a big role. If the dinner is held at home, parents often help with cooking and serving. Siblings can also assist. The evening usually has a full schedule. Upon arrival, guests are typically offered a welcome drink. Everyone is assigned a seat, indicated by name cards on the table. A menu is placed at each setting, listing what will be served. The dinner usually includes multiple courses. Between courses, friends and family can give speeches. Games are often played between courses or at the end of the meal. The dinner often ends with drinks or a group outing to town.

How do you organize a 21-dinner?

Start by making a guest list. Traditionally, if you’re a guy, you only invite guys, and if you’re a girl, you invite only girls. While planning the guest list, consider your budget – if it’s limited, you can either invite fewer people or go for more affordable meals. Once the guest list is set, you can plan the menu. Make sure the dishes are manageable for the number of guests. The dinner is usually held at your parents’ house so your friends can see where you grew up. Guests are expected to prepare a speech and deliver it during or after the dinner.

Rules

Originally, there are a few rules for a 21-dinner, though not everyone follows them strictly nowadays. For example, boys should only invite boys, and girls only girls. A proper seating arrangement is also part of the tradition – it’s nice to make or print name cards and place them on the table. If you’re inviting friends from different groups, mix the seating to help them get to know each other. Guests are also expected to give a speech or perform something for the birthday person.

It’s also customary for guests to bring a small gift for the birthday person’s parents as a sign of appreciation, since they prepared and served the dinner. A small bouquet, a bottle of wine, or some chocolate would be perfect.

The birthday person usually opens the dinner with a welcome speech, thanking everyone for coming. After dinner, the group might head to a bar or club to continue the celebration – or dance the night away in the living room.

Dress code is important too: men are expected to wear suits and women dresses with heels – unless a theme is specified. If there’s a theme, guests are expected to dress accordingly. Girls might want to bring a pair of sneakers to switch into later, especially when dancing to cheesy songs in the club!